Acceptance

i gave myself a time frame to get myself out from my pathetic state i was in for the past month or so. Yesterday was that day, and i am still adjusting myself. But i am glad that this day had finally came.

So what is different? i was practically moping over the fact that she is with someone else now. Someone who is more good looking. Someone who is more successful career wise. But most importantly, someone whom she can bring home to show her mom. Someone whom she can carry his name with. Someone who can gave her all the things she wanted that i could not. Every time i tried looking for her and she is with him, i would sulk, i would feel gloomy about it, i would dawdle around aimlessly, i would suddenly become this pathetic little fella which i, myself hate to see. Come this day, i have decided that i have to accept this fact. Why should i feel that way? If she is happy now, i should be too. Right?

What else is different? Nothing. Just that. Accepting the fact that she now has someone else and i should not bear grudge or hatred towards her. Instead i should feel happy for her, and wish her happiness. That is how much i love her. That is the least i could do, not to screw-up her happiness that is.

Does that mean i don't love her anymore? i can't stop loving her, well at least not for now. And if there is a next life, i would want her mine then too. But loving her at this moment also mean i should not screw things up with the new boyfriend. Got to stay some distance away. That may be best for the both of us. At least that will be the best for her.


Jacob