Monday, 2 April 2012

I'm the April's Fool

It's been a month since our breakup. It's been a most painful month. A month where i have to constantly wear a mask wherever i go to hide my despair, so that no one will ever know that i am hurting deep down inside, so that no one will find out the story of this forbidden love. i have got no one to talk to, i have got no one to share this feeling with. That's why i'm writing a post here, at least i know my head will not explode from over-thinking this problem.

It's been a month since our breakup. Which also means it's been a  month since you're with him. Everytime this comes into picture, i lost all ability to think. My mind went blank for a moment, my vision blurred, my hands trembled, my heart went pounding. It feels almost like time went by too fast and i can't cope with it. All these feeling i cannot control over, but that doesn't mean i don't wish you happiness. i am truly happy that you have found your real happiness in a relationship. You have finally found someone who has a good career, who is quite good looking, someone everyone says is a good guy, someone you can bring home and show your mom, someone you can go out with and can be seen in public and introduced as your boyfriend. This is all what you wanted, so i'm truly happy for you to have own all these now.

It's been a month since our breakup. i'm not a better person as you would expect me to be. My temper flared more often, my patience level dropped drastically, i'm not as happy as i used to be, everything i see turns into a negative thing even though it is a happy scenario. But this is none of your business anymore. You can't do anything about it. In fact i don't want you to do anything about it. You have your own life now, so stick with it. i don't want to be the reason that screw up your happiness again.


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